Happiness

Starting my second book into happiness...funny I feel I'm re-reading a lot, which makes me think Gretchin took a lot of the same resources this new guy is using in his book.
Last night, while J was away and I had the most lethargic evening of my life, i read before bed about the 3 ways to get over an unfortunate cortical gene...by using meditation, cognitive therapy and prozac (under the umbrella of all ssri's). Even the author had used Prozac and had to stop because of the side-effects, but was a firm believer in it's aesthetic improvements to a person's potential. He compared it to breast implants or contact lenses, for the brain. Being one of those unlucky draws in the cortex area, it made me reconsider my use of ssri's, or the decision to stop using them actually. I've had such horrible experiences in the last year with friends, that I've either repressed these experiences, and managed to relive them exactly each time I do that, or I've been distressed for weeks due to the experience. I admit to feeling hopeless, and cognitive therapy did nothing, as the teacher is the limiting factor, and my therapists have been sub-par in providing any way for me to work on the areas at home besides just believing I'm okay (this is not a legitimate tool for working on a problem).

Anyways, I'm coming to terms with the baby, or becoming a mother. I looked up au pairs today, to see what that is all about, and although we don't really have a space for one in our new place, I was just happy that there is the option of bringing more people into our lives as a result of the baby. The chance to try new things, and to experience new people is encouraging.