Sightings of Exes

Do you ever walk down the street, up to your normal shenanigans, and suddenly, out of the blue ,you are seeing your past relationship walking in front of you? At first panic ensues, you think you should sprint away or jump into a shrub. Then, with shaky legs, you want to continue walking, just play it cool. But then, is that really him? Why would he be in this neighbourhood, a place that is so non-ghetto, so yuppie, so filled with happy people living happy little lives...? But then again, he IS dressed all in black, maybe some ill-fated Saturday night brought him to your little haven, and he is only here to get on the train and get back to his 'hood.

This happens so rarely that when it does, it sends me into some shock. My relationships, really like everyone's past relationships, bring up so many old feelings of unworthiness, intrigue and embarassement that I truly would like to do the shrub jump, if any North American city was kind enough to build large shrubs capable of fitting a crazy lady. Hmm...I think that's why all the shrubs ARE cut low, because inevitably not women like me, but drunks and crackheads fill their recesses. Okay, but still, what is the correct way to avoid or confront an ex in the street?

Once, a few years ago, I swore I saw him by SAIT. I got home, feeling shaky, deciding I could carry on my day without rehashing old scenarios on replay. But then, amazingly, he calls me on the phone. No, he didn't see me, he just felt like calling after 2 years of never seeing, talking or emailing. The weird thing was that I felt so out of it, that I convinced myself that it wasn't him on the phone, and preceeded to have a strange conversation with someone I thought I should know but couldn't place. I think they call this high-level denial or something. At last, I admitted something way too personal for the convo and he was like "It's So and So!" and I went into a blubbery state of blame, shame, and apologies for not knowing. It was like "Oh, I'm so SO sorry I didn't recognize your voice....I guess I was so used to our screaming fights that I didn't recognize your calm, almost human timbre. Oops, sorry, sorry, just out of sorts here, I thought I saw you today, this is all too strange." So eventually I hung up on him. Then I called him back and his response went like, "I knew you would call back, you always did!" So in a fury I hung up again, and this time didn't phone back.

The invent of facebook seemed to make things a little more akward for this. You add an ex, a person you could basically be okay with if they fell off the planet, but you never wall each other, phone, see each other. Eventually I saw I wasn't on his FB anymore, and I truly felt a little offended, as though he wanted me to drop off the planet. Hmm....