As I ran across 11th Avenue jaywalking to Sunterra this morning on my break, I realized I was almost full term, and still running to meet Justin for coffee. Of course, this came after an excruciating walk to work 2 hours earlier where I thought I might vomit or faint, holding Justin's hand as though it were my lifeline. But still, I'm not doing so badly!
Linda came over last night to consult about a painting for us. That's so exciting, both seeing her and talking about putting our beautiful photo of Waskesiu into a living painting by a friend. It will be hard to put up in the living room rather than our boy's room, but I'm sure it will be beautiful so I'll want to see it!
With one month left, that means I have only 13 shifts at the library left until June oh my! Which also means I need to use my time effectively (writing blog on break is okay though?). I'm really starting to appreciate that pregnancy is just year one of having kids, that it will be no harder or easier after this, just a different type of work. So I've been trying, with improved weather and moods lately, to just go with it, not to worry. I've really started to let go of Childless Me. Seeing photos of a former friend in Cuba didn't spur jealousy, but made me thankful I have this coming change, or that I've changed. I didn't pity her, I was happy she could enjoy her life, but that was never my life to begin with before this. So I start to see the divides clearly, rather than our commonalities, and then yearning for those commonalities that I miss, like the bikini body, the career, the travels. Instead I don't miss them and I see how this fork in the road is exactly what I've wanted all along, even though I'm complaining about it so much. I had to come this way, for it was the more difficult path and 'that has made all the difference'.
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