Detachment Parenting 101

As recently ranted on this blog, by yours truly. With a little, well, a lot, of extra quotes for the picking.



For some reason the term “attachment parenting” just brings up all sorts of ooooo-gleee emotions. I mean, the first time I heard of it I was all like “ooh, unicorns and rainbows, that sounds awesome!” but now, I don’t know. Maybe I feel like there were things I wanted to do that I didn’t do or couldn’t do? But more than anything, I guess I ran into too many pretentious, bitchy-ass moms who espouse AT, and not only did I despise their other parenting choices, but I found whatever AT things they did, I had to seriously consider the opposite. I know, intense emotions.



Either way, the end result was reading something a while back (was it Renegade Mama's blog?) that was actually poking fun at its critics, but nonetheless, here goes. That term, that word "attachment", does it not imply that some parents are NOT “attached” to their kids? Or whose goal is NOT attachment?



This really hit home when I was recently in the doc’s office explaining for the umpteenth time to a different person how I was separated at birth from my baby and blahblah traumatic, blahblah. His response? “Wow, no, that’s bad. I mean, even cracked out, street women, totally high on something, they know, that’s THEIR baby!”



I'm serious, besides someone seriously experiencing PPD, who DOESN’T feel attached to their munchkin and do whatever they can for them, within their own capabilities? I work at the downtown library, otherwise known as the day-time -drop-in centre (to me). I SEE those moms. I want to STEAL their babies. I want to take home these precious 6 month olds and do a better damn job than some 17 year old, smellin-like-smoke, talking-about-getting-her-GED-"SOMEDAY", at-the-library-from-9am-to-4pm, texting-people-all-day and IGNORING her baby mom. But I can't. I don't even glare. I just long. I long for someone else's cute little baby. But you know what? I would NEVER comment on what she should do or not do with her baby. Why? Because that lesser-than-me mom? She LOVES her baby. She is ATTACHED to her baby. And God knows, if I came even within an inch of insinuating that I would remove that baby from her, I am absolutely certain that momma bear would

tear

me

apart.

She may not be making great choices, and yes, I know that love does not conquer all, especially second-hand smoke or growing up with no role models in your life. But within reason, someone, especially THIS someone (lil' me), should not be feeling threatened that someone thinks she isn't attached to her baby. The thought of this is so revolting and sad that when it gets down to it, I shouldn't even get so mad.


The term is just one of total, utter obvious-ness isn’t it? For lack of my own better term? What does a parent, like me, call herself as a non-AT mom? A detached mom? For real, pick a different name, or better yet, just call yourself “mom”. How’s that? Oh yeah, not pretentious enough. SO outdated to JUST be mom or JUST be dad? To JUST love and do what you can? So 80s. So what our moms did. Who wants that? Phooey.






Well, anyways, I'm out of breath. Phew, end of rant. thanks for listenin’ luvs;)