I shouldn't exaggerate, but today actually started as yesterday ended ah!
I wake up to the alarm and then I guess I wasn't wanting to deal with life. I slept until 20 to 8:00. But without a shower or brekkie, I made it just after 8 and it was a great thing! We had an assignment that I finished with just enough time to literally sprint to the train and teach yoga. Which also went great. So pretty much everything could have sucked, but I loved today! Even after I took the wrong train and had to walk in the downpour back 5 blocks ah! Crazy.
So no jogging, but it was downpouring. Yoga, yes. 45 minutes, interrupted about 5 times by a friend, J's mom, J in Victoria, dinner, laundry, etc. But I did it. Then I cleaned up the place for J's return. It's late, I'm relaxed, feeling good ...but tired!
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Day 2 Life unravels
I can't believe the trauma of yesterday. I promised all these "stress-free" activities, but I guess I was a day late. There was this thing with the neighbours. My mistake was going to the cops, when I should have made the original witnesses. Mistake Two was giving the chick a heads up about the cops contacting her. Apparently that constitutes harassment, in the words of her father, to our Property Manager. So after a breakdown, I called my support circle, J's mom, my mom, Jeff....I guess I handled it well, calling everyone. My mom just kept talking to me until I was happy, so I'm very grateful to her right now.
Did I jog for 15 and yoga for 15? Yep! I jogged at lunch, so no worries there. It started raining at the end, but I felt great, work was great, really happy. Yoga went well too, although I was interrupted, but I got my 15 in.
So my solution is to keep up the practise, no matter the trauma that occurs. I can't let traumatic neighbour crap knock me off the gameplan. Glad I made the commitment.
Did I jog for 15 and yoga for 15? Yep! I jogged at lunch, so no worries there. It started raining at the end, but I felt great, work was great, really happy. Yoga went well too, although I was interrupted, but I got my 15 in.
So my solution is to keep up the practise, no matter the trauma that occurs. I can't let traumatic neighbour crap knock me off the gameplan. Glad I made the commitment.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Day 1
I'm excited for the next week.
I want to make all the efforts I can to reduce stress and stay relaxed.
Some of these efforts:
Everyday:
1. Water my garden, at least once a day.
2. Go for a light jog, at least 15 minutes, walk home if need be!
3. Do at least 15 minutes of yoga.
4. Drink more water, one glass before morning coffee, one in the afternoon, and one before bed at least.
5. Stop saying yes to going away, doing things, volunteering. Life is busy, take time to be with Justin.
6. Tell Justin I love him, and show him I love him in little, special ways. Instead of spreading myself so thin so that Justin comes last, I want to spend time putting him first. I love him, he is gone to the West Coast right now, and I miss him. Time apart makes me realize how valuable he is, just walking down the street with him makes me happy and I want him to know that.
I want to make all the efforts I can to reduce stress and stay relaxed.
Some of these efforts:
Everyday:
1. Water my garden, at least once a day.
2. Go for a light jog, at least 15 minutes, walk home if need be!
3. Do at least 15 minutes of yoga.
4. Drink more water, one glass before morning coffee, one in the afternoon, and one before bed at least.
5. Stop saying yes to going away, doing things, volunteering. Life is busy, take time to be with Justin.
6. Tell Justin I love him, and show him I love him in little, special ways. Instead of spreading myself so thin so that Justin comes last, I want to spend time putting him first. I love him, he is gone to the West Coast right now, and I miss him. Time apart makes me realize how valuable he is, just walking down the street with him makes me happy and I want him to know that.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Freaked out
I'm sorta freaking out tonight...a few things "wrong":
1. I was ready to quit teaching yoga on Sundays...after evaluating the identity I would like to have, and the values, priorities, ethics that go along with that, it seemed against this identity to decide to leave my "family" (consisting of seulement un) to go work on the weekend.
However, upon a message asking me to teach another day of the week, I got in a discussion about quitting Sundays. It turns out, after a couple of factors were unfolded (I will get help at reception, and I will be accompanied by a lovely teacher at the same time doing another class), I realized that I love teaching Sundays. Ah! I love the industrial studio on Sundays, next to McD's and Tim Horton's and hotels. I love getting a mocha with no lineups and slowly seeing the lovely students file in all groggy for a sunday stretch. Who knew?
Okay, all the above sounds good, but what of my identity, and why does this freak me out? Well, it means I said YES to another teaching gig on Monday nights, and I'm still doing Sundays. Am I greedy? What gives? I guess after realizing I can't give up Sundays, maybe I ought to give Mondays and crazy hot yoga in the evenings a try as well. Maybe I will grow to love it as well. Maybe not, but I'm scared of 50+ people waiting on me for Action Jackson 8pm on Monday nights.
2. After googling my name + yoga I found my anonymous blog (uh, this blog). I thought I was hidden away, but nope, there I was. I can't have crap I write easily accessible by family, friends, employers. Who writes personal thoughts and shares them? WTH? So I removed easily identifiable things like my name, photo, etc. But it seriously freaked me out. But why would anyone be so narcisistic as to actually google me? No wait, I'm narcissistic I think, to think that, right?
3. I'm scared I can't have a baby. Then I'm scared I can, but it's not the right time, especially when I'm committing to more yoga work and considering seriously (for the 5th time seriously, all other 4 considerations must have been not-serious?) buying a stupid car. I hate buying things, especially things that just take money and don't appreciate (well, I've never bought something that appreciates either, but if I had the choice...). No, I hate spending money. I'm so stubborn about using commonsense...I wish I was more naive, the world depends and loves naivete, it thrives on it, and they are HAPPIER! BOOOO!
4. I had bad dreams last night about friends from high school confessing that I was as psychotic as I remember being in high school, and how I hurt them, and how they hate me now. This might be from one friend not responding to my emails lately...or just the fact that I realize I'm psycho but it hurts to know that others know...either way, I've felt crazy and bad all day. Wish it was so easy to "forget it" or "move on"....see above for why I can't.
5. That's it, all my worries, in the blog, and like some magic spell, I'll hit "post" and it will all melt away...or why else would we blog at all? (back to number 3, part about narcisism, and no, I won't mispell it consistently).
1. I was ready to quit teaching yoga on Sundays...after evaluating the identity I would like to have, and the values, priorities, ethics that go along with that, it seemed against this identity to decide to leave my "family" (consisting of seulement un) to go work on the weekend.
However, upon a message asking me to teach another day of the week, I got in a discussion about quitting Sundays. It turns out, after a couple of factors were unfolded (I will get help at reception, and I will be accompanied by a lovely teacher at the same time doing another class), I realized that I love teaching Sundays. Ah! I love the industrial studio on Sundays, next to McD's and Tim Horton's and hotels. I love getting a mocha with no lineups and slowly seeing the lovely students file in all groggy for a sunday stretch. Who knew?
Okay, all the above sounds good, but what of my identity, and why does this freak me out? Well, it means I said YES to another teaching gig on Monday nights, and I'm still doing Sundays. Am I greedy? What gives? I guess after realizing I can't give up Sundays, maybe I ought to give Mondays and crazy hot yoga in the evenings a try as well. Maybe I will grow to love it as well. Maybe not, but I'm scared of 50+ people waiting on me for Action Jackson 8pm on Monday nights.
2. After googling my name + yoga I found my anonymous blog (uh, this blog). I thought I was hidden away, but nope, there I was. I can't have crap I write easily accessible by family, friends, employers. Who writes personal thoughts and shares them? WTH? So I removed easily identifiable things like my name, photo, etc. But it seriously freaked me out. But why would anyone be so narcisistic as to actually google me? No wait, I'm narcissistic I think, to think that, right?
3. I'm scared I can't have a baby. Then I'm scared I can, but it's not the right time, especially when I'm committing to more yoga work and considering seriously (for the 5th time seriously, all other 4 considerations must have been not-serious?) buying a stupid car. I hate buying things, especially things that just take money and don't appreciate (well, I've never bought something that appreciates either, but if I had the choice...). No, I hate spending money. I'm so stubborn about using commonsense...I wish I was more naive, the world depends and loves naivete, it thrives on it, and they are HAPPIER! BOOOO!
4. I had bad dreams last night about friends from high school confessing that I was as psychotic as I remember being in high school, and how I hurt them, and how they hate me now. This might be from one friend not responding to my emails lately...or just the fact that I realize I'm psycho but it hurts to know that others know...either way, I've felt crazy and bad all day. Wish it was so easy to "forget it" or "move on"....see above for why I can't.
5. That's it, all my worries, in the blog, and like some magic spell, I'll hit "post" and it will all melt away...or why else would we blog at all? (back to number 3, part about narcisism, and no, I won't mispell it consistently).
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