Craving Coke

Oh little one, I promised not to indulge in the outmost of food sins so that you would not have the same guilt I have when my mom tells me of her own pregnancy sins. But alas, with coffee firmly disgusting to me at this point, I have reluctantly, or rather, embracingly, started to drink Coke. I know it's bad for me, but I'm guessing the caffeine I crave is so entrenched in my body that here I am guzzling this pop that I honestly have drank maybe 3 times in my whole life. Well, give me some credit, I drank more than my share in the form of rum and Coke at certain occassions, but never alone. Not that I despise the idea of Coke, although I despise the idea of addictions, I despise the fizziness, the sugar, and the complete gut rot that results. But I can't stop. it's day Three of this madness, so let's hope mamma gets back onto tea and coffee soon, the latter being something you won't understand why until you go to college.

In the meantime, my nausea has receeded somewhat, I made A meal the other night consisting of sweet and sour pineapple chicken, a recipe from deep within the Puff family archives, I guess I was returning to comfort foods. Oh, i made a stew on the weekend, well, half. I got sick chopping and was in the bathroom too long to continue. But your pops finished it up as usual. I did do a few fruit crisps, something I hope you will love as much as me when you're older. Your dad doesn't understand my obsession with fruit crisps, but i think you will. It's like a cookie with fruit, who doesn't love that?

We're going on a vacation/honeymoon in 5 days and ohboy am I excited. I'm more excited for you to be honest (I never thought I would say that, considering the complete fear I have of you at this point), but I'm still pretty stoked to spend a week with your dad hanging at the lake, reading books, going to a yoga class in hippieville Nelson, and lolling about with coffees, er, cokes.

Much love to you little one. You passed your first test, the down's syndrome marker test, with flying colours. They measured you and you're one day bigger than you should be for your age haha! Kay, let's not get too big now though kay? And you are 53 mm. When you get to grade 2 I'll show you how big that is and maybe you'll understand. Small. Yet we were deliriously happy to see you on the ultrasound. The next u/s is in 6 weeks and we'll hopefully know if you're a boy or girl. Considering I'm writing to you, I think a girl would want to read this more, but who knows? I am going to be hapy either way, never thought I'd say that either.

Your daddy!

Sometimes I accuse J of being selfish, or not caring for me.
This morning I realized the error of my ways as I was blowdrying my hair (of course, this is the best place to have meaningful epiphanies, second only to the bathtub and just ahead of the toilet).
1. Your pops sets our alarm to 6:30am everynight when he gets into bed, even though it is closer to me. I used to think it was because he was more paranoid about it being on, but I know he enjoys doing this for me.
2. When our alarm goes off, he gets up. He doesn't have to get up until 7:15am, but he gets up early with me.
3. He does the dishes from the night before.
4. He makes my lunch.
5. He puts my toast in.

Then, if he has time, he pulls his guitar down and plays for a little bit, until I invariably say "J...can you grab me this thing or that thing?" and he always does that for me.

Then we bike or walk to work together. I try and hold the door for his bike, as a tiny token for him. He used to steal a kiss from me as I went into the library, but the doormen are so creepy, i got him to stop this habit.

Then he emails me "cafe?" or calls me at 9:30am to walk to the coffee shop between our work places.
6. He buys me a cafe, or muffin. He gets himself the cheap black coffee, I get the overpriced lattes.
7. At lunch we'll jog together, eat together, or if I'm teaching yoga, he will wait outside the building, just to walk back to the library with me or down the block.


Every single day. Love him

Making me Sick!

Oh baby!

I never imagined I would be affected by any of those pregnancy symptoms involving morning sickness, but alas, for the past 3 weeks baby, we have had some serious heartburn/nausea. Your momma is strong though, to a fault usually, and I have not thrown up once (cross my fingers). There's nothing wrong with it I guess, but your mom hates throwing up perhaps more than anything!

So i haven't written for a long time because I usually write at night before bed, but the nausea has made me a big grumpy scaredy-cat at nights, watching LOST with your dad on the internet. We pretend like we don't watch tv, but we make up for it by watching "free" tv online. Maybe by the time you're old enough to watch tv, all of this will have changed. But soon enough we'll be 'normal' people, with real cable, when we move from our tiny little apartment into our new condo. I hope you like it there, but I'm sure you won't even notice it. By the time you're old enough to care, I will bet we are living in a house so you can run around with mom in the backyard.

I see photos of my friends' kids and I really hope you are a girl, because they have girls and it looks so fun to have a playmate for mom! But on the other hand, secretely I think I want you to be a boy, because boys are tough, and seem to be more adaptable to strange situations (like no cable tv haha). Either way, the suspense is killing me and it's only 11 weeks. You and me still have 29 more weeks to go, hola!

Bye kiddo, I'm thinking about you today:)