While the apartment is extremely cold these days, my mood has become heavy, low and hard to budge out of this. In the past I might have devoted myself to a yoga class each day, but the cost and the low quality of the teachers at the studio these days has caused me to just sit at home, on the couch, under a blanket. Doing nothing.
It doesn't help the xmas party was last night, a few drinks and the next day my serotonin levels are swinging on empty.
Chinese food and documentaries. At least I'm just eating non-meat grease right? Right?
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Friday, December 4, 2009
and another thing....
that's J's television show name...if he had one. 2 guys sitting in chairs saying "and another thing..." and griping about life. Sounds good to me. He started a blog with this name I think, hard to know since he wanted to make a secret blog that I couldn't read to take vengeance on my blog that he can't read.
My mom is coming in today at 4pm, then flying out again at 1pm tomorrow. This stems from my wedding dress breakdown. Unfortunately, after a coworker felt sorry for me, I stepped up and dealt with it myself, getting her to take the dress back out an inch around my ribcage, as I couldn't breathe in the dress. I had thought I might be able to just breathe into my belly, but it is impossible not to use the ribcage, even with that intention. It was no big deal. The seamstress worries the dress will fall down, but I am okay with boobies exposed rather than fainting or ripping the dress in half.
So she comes to save me, after I've saved myself. It's so important to figure out how to deal with your problems on your own. J used to try and solve everything for me, we sometimes slip into that again. But he tries to let me find a way on my own. Mom forgets this important step sometimes.
And it's snowing, heavily. As in, it will take 40 minutes minimum to walk downtown to teach at noon. Oh well, I was going to be a lazy girl anyway. Last class downtown, and then I have to come up with something to tell them...will I continue teaching there, or drop all my classes? The hot studio never responded to my email and invoice. Oh, and another yoga teacher who owes me $130 apparently broke her knee (me and J suspect in a paranoid way that she actually broke it doing yoga!) and I am not certain I'll hear back from that invoice anytime soon either. Flaky yogis....
I taught last night, the registered class at small, incompetent studio that I've referred to before. A great class like last night makes me doubt so much quitting all the struggles of trying to gather people for a class. getting just 6 people to attend at times seems completely insurmountable, and then poof!! the library gets 20 daddies to come for daddies and babies storytime once a month at every branch in Calgary. Oh yeah, one is free.
Either way, last night was so fun because it was just us girls, and not the girls with the hot flashes. So I completely indulged in girly talk, from moon days (your period) to one girl asking me "so where is your wedding?" during a forward fold when I gently coaxed "are there any questions?" haha...I answered, but noted it was not quite what I was expecting as a yoga question. I used the Tibetan bells at the end of class, as I did for my other classes this week. I love doing something like that and asking "did anyone feel them?" and having a YES! We try so hard to get people to experience things in yoga, and when they do, it's like...well, it's like having my ego stoked! My teacher training, Indian teacher, told us that in the West, they try to stoke our egos as we have no confidance which is why we buy so much and put others down. In the East, they are always taking down egos. I believe it. So I'm not guilting myself, I'm using them today for the last noon class! On another guilty note, I think I forgot to include one person in my little gifts of candles and cards on Monday. The boss of the company. Do I bring him a late card today? Hmm...did he get a candle? It's so weird, I counted 3 times. How did I miss him?
Almost time to leave, maybe stop and buy a candle.
My mom is coming in today at 4pm, then flying out again at 1pm tomorrow. This stems from my wedding dress breakdown. Unfortunately, after a coworker felt sorry for me, I stepped up and dealt with it myself, getting her to take the dress back out an inch around my ribcage, as I couldn't breathe in the dress. I had thought I might be able to just breathe into my belly, but it is impossible not to use the ribcage, even with that intention. It was no big deal. The seamstress worries the dress will fall down, but I am okay with boobies exposed rather than fainting or ripping the dress in half.
So she comes to save me, after I've saved myself. It's so important to figure out how to deal with your problems on your own. J used to try and solve everything for me, we sometimes slip into that again. But he tries to let me find a way on my own. Mom forgets this important step sometimes.
And it's snowing, heavily. As in, it will take 40 minutes minimum to walk downtown to teach at noon. Oh well, I was going to be a lazy girl anyway. Last class downtown, and then I have to come up with something to tell them...will I continue teaching there, or drop all my classes? The hot studio never responded to my email and invoice. Oh, and another yoga teacher who owes me $130 apparently broke her knee (me and J suspect in a paranoid way that she actually broke it doing yoga!) and I am not certain I'll hear back from that invoice anytime soon either. Flaky yogis....
I taught last night, the registered class at small, incompetent studio that I've referred to before. A great class like last night makes me doubt so much quitting all the struggles of trying to gather people for a class. getting just 6 people to attend at times seems completely insurmountable, and then poof!! the library gets 20 daddies to come for daddies and babies storytime once a month at every branch in Calgary. Oh yeah, one is free.
Either way, last night was so fun because it was just us girls, and not the girls with the hot flashes. So I completely indulged in girly talk, from moon days (your period) to one girl asking me "so where is your wedding?" during a forward fold when I gently coaxed "are there any questions?" haha...I answered, but noted it was not quite what I was expecting as a yoga question. I used the Tibetan bells at the end of class, as I did for my other classes this week. I love doing something like that and asking "did anyone feel them?" and having a YES! We try so hard to get people to experience things in yoga, and when they do, it's like...well, it's like having my ego stoked! My teacher training, Indian teacher, told us that in the West, they try to stoke our egos as we have no confidance which is why we buy so much and put others down. In the East, they are always taking down egos. I believe it. So I'm not guilting myself, I'm using them today for the last noon class! On another guilty note, I think I forgot to include one person in my little gifts of candles and cards on Monday. The boss of the company. Do I bring him a late card today? Hmm...did he get a candle? It's so weird, I counted 3 times. How did I miss him?
Almost time to leave, maybe stop and buy a candle.
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