I went for my lunchbreak jog alone today. It was drizzling outside, high teens, and of course, perfect running weather. However, so many days can be cancelled due to the following excuses, all of which occurred for me this morning.
I'm sore from (blank) and the run will be painful, long and bring me no joy.
I'm having irritable bowels (again) and the run will make it worse.
I should be doing (blank) instead.
I shouldn't take a lunch and leave early so I can pick up the kid from daycare a little earlier.
I won't lose any weight, binge later in the day, and it won't make me feel good.
I will have really bad hair after running in this humidity/rain.
I will be really sweaty for my meeting.
I will probably stink for my meeting.
I can't jog alone because it is too boring.
But today, I went anyways. ALone to confront my stressed out thoughts, sore body and bad humidity hair.
I never time my runs, or care how far I go. I aim for my "loop" and that's about it. Which at times makes the whole thing feel pointless. Why do I go? What is my goal? When will I run a race? Get a personal best, join a jogging group, improve, improve, improve.
Today, lost in thought running through the old-growth trees on St. George's Island, without any people in sight, the traffic noises barely audible along Memorial, suddenly I came upon a Merganser duck mom. She was taking her ducklings, about 8 of them, out of their tree nest, across the sidewalk and into the river. I arrived just as the last few were flopping out of the tree from way up high, right in front of me.
I stood completely in awe.
No longer was I constrained by thoughts. Thoughts of my life. Self-pitying thought of being a tired mom, a sore renovator, an insignificant office worker, a cranky and often angry 31 year old woman.
All in that one moment of seeing the rare duck and her duckling, I felt like a complete creature. I was a creature mom waiting out of respect for this duck mom to move her kids along. I was completely absorbed in this scene.
The rain drizzling onto me, warm from my jog, air fresh, plants dense and green, it was a scene of Mother Earth, of the nature that is just a quick jaunt from any downtown or suburb. It was a reason to be alive to be witness to this. To be whacked upside the head by beauty and be reminded of my physical essence on earth as just another creature. It pratically had me in tears, which is the obvious touch of pure sublimeness, being a sense of both pain and pleasure.
I waited for them to disappear into the plants, then with a sudden vitality of energy and life in me, I sprang back into my jog. My hamstrings and quads had a strength that could only be brought on by true and pure inspiration. Not owing to nutrition (a sugary mocha being my only that morning), not owing to hydration (certainly not considering the beer and wings from last night), and not owing to any complex carb-loading/running shoe technology/lululemon-jogging gear, I ran back to the office at a breakneck speed. Like a disciple spreading the word, I felt I had a mission to share this with another human. To let them know the secret to life. The secret just over there, just behind the plants bordering the downtown. Just beyond the pedestrian bridge that takes you into the real life.
I'm glad I jogged at lunch. This is why I do it.
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